Alcohol, Christmas and Me…RecoveryMummy

So its that time of year again, Christmas celebrations, work parties and meals out with friends.

December is just a few days away and my Christmas tree will be let out of its box once again to delight and excite all who see it.

December and the Christmas period for me can be a fun and enjoyable time but also it can be really trying when it comes to living in recovery of an addiction to alcohol.

Alcohol and Celebrations go hand in hand so for me December is the worst month in my year! Not only do I have to deal with walking around city centre with the smell of hot mulled wine in the air but I then go home settle down to watch TV and then have to see most  adverts glamorising stodgy foods and luxury wines, adverts are showing me how I can pour baileys into a hot cup of coffee or even better drizzle it over Christmas pudding…wish they would stop, its hard enough as it is.

December I  also have 4 birthday celebrations, all close family members, so again its meals out for me surrounded by drink. I sometimes feel anger when I see people having fun drinking away, saying “lets have one more  its Christmas” I mean I can cope with people having a drink around me, in fact I do it most weekends but there’s a certain point when the drinker goes beyond just a little tipsy and that I cant stand. I leave the party, I will leave peoples homes. I just start to get really uncomfortable. Its not because I am fearful that I will want to drink its just that I don’t have time for it! It may sound really bad of me but I cant help but sometimes feel annoyed at someone being a stupid drunk.

Even though its just over 2 and half years since my last drink this Christmas will be the 5th one I have not being drinking (2 out of 5 I was pregnant)  I am looking forward to spending it at home with my husband and two boys. I don’t really want to be around everyone drinking now that my boys are getting older, Christmas should be for fun and laughter not drunken family rows and spewing up on boxing day from binge drinking the night before.

So this year I will do as I do every year and that is keep myself busy, keep using the gym for my stress and anxiety, meet up and talk to others in a similar situation to myself and enjoy everything that Christmas has to offer to someone in recovery.

I will be taking the boys to winter wonderland this year even though the smell of warm spiced cider can make me uneasy I will never let my children miss out on something because of my own reason… but luckily for me my little ones are a pretty good distraction anyway.

If in Recovery : How do you deal with the Christmas period in recovery? Please comment below 🙂

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Blog 2…update

After I posted my 1st blog I felt sick…I actually had to turn off my phone and close down my computer because I was fearful that people would automatically start to judge me.

Wow…I was so wrong

As it turns out the response to my group and Facebook page has been amazing. So far many wonderful parent bloggers and parent organisations have taken me under there wings and helped me spread awareness of what I am doing. By retweeting my blog post and sharing on Facebook I have had quite a lot of contact with other organisations also wishing to support me.

I thought it would only be fair if I give an update on what is happening.

Looks like my Recovery Mummy support group meet ups launch will be happening sooner than expected. I have had a good chat to Gareth (business partner @café junior) and it looks like the launch afternoon will be at café junior sometime in December. I have a lot of planning to do now, I need to make a logo and I still really need more awareness out there so I can reach more parents who may need support.

I have had email contact with Mums in the Know and it looks like they will be doing a spotlight article about my group soon….SO EXCITED!!

But for now I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who is showing me that there is compassion and support out there…Big shout out to…

Recovery Cymru and Inroads offering help and support they both are organisations who have helped me in the past during my own recovery.

Lucy (coordinator) from Cardiff and Caerphilly NCT branch has been brilliant re-tweeting and sharing my posts.

Cardiff mummy says (Blogger) has been a diamond with raising awareness on Facebook and especially twitter!

Emily Higgins (Blogger) has welcomed me in to her blogging world also.

Find me on Facebook at: and follow my story.

“Be Proud – Not Stigmatised”


1st Blog…Am I dead!

After three relapses I finally said no more, in one afternoon I almost lost everything and everyone I hold dear to me. It is the 26th June 2013 I am drinking again, I am going though post partum depression and suffering extreme psychosis.  I feel alone though I am not, I am a new mum I should’ve been concerned with my child not the glass of wine that was in my hand…I feel guilty, I still do…I felt alone.

I woke on the 27th June 2013, shaking and craving. I NEED a drink, get me out of here but I cant go anywhere, I cant see! I realise quickly I am not at home, I don’t have my glasses on my bedside table I cant feel the comfort of my mattress instead I am greeted by a cold slab beneath me…am I dead? I feel like death though I am not, I am in a cell…what have I done!

Two and a half years later I feel renewed, I am in recovery. I have a supportive husband and two beautiful boys who I really do adore. I still deal with anxiety and panic attacks and that can sometimes cause restrictions but I am getting there.

Its not easy to keep myself from relapsing, in fact its the hardest thing I will ever do but everyday gets that little bit easier, Christmas, Birthdays, Easter…you name it alcohol is involved. My very busy lifestyle helps with my recovery and I use exercise as a form of stress relief.

You can usually see me walking about Cardiff pushing my pram, attending most child friendly events, chilling in a coffee shop or  having a browse in the charity shops (the bargains you can find!)

In my spare time I am now setting up a Facebook page and group to support parents in recovery living in Cardiff and surrounding areas. Please find me on Facebook, recovery mummy is here to help stamp out stigma and discrimination attached to recovering parents…”Be Proud not Stigmatised”