Over the last few years I have learnt to identify when I am about to experience mood fluctuations. My episodes used to last so long but with time they have become less frequent and less severe…when they start it’s like a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. They can play out like this…
I don’t mind when it starts in fact it can be quite enjoyable…the feeling of amazing energy and thoughts and ideas that come flying out of my head at 100mph can be thrilling and exciting.
I get so much housework done it is quite mad, I talk for hours about how the world will look in the future or anything for that matter. I become artistic and become very organised…I feel almost alien like…my senses tingle and my reaction speed is increased. My work speed and focus becomes mind-blowing that if someone could bottle it and sell it they would be millionaires!
But with all this amazement and thoughts and ideas also come the bad. I usually require treatment (medication) to bring me out of my manic state and then I start to experience low moods
I start to feel anxious, I think about what I have started… but now I can’t finish…this gets me down. I start to worry that my mental state is not strong enough to succeed if I’m not hypomanic. I worry that I don’t have enough energy…I feel down. I get thoughts of dread and think lots of negative thoughts.
The low moods are horrible.
With self management I have become quite good at recognising when one of my rides is about to start and I know most of the ups and downs I’m about to take. I usually feel excitement, agitation, restlessness, panic, worry, no sleep, too much sleep, racing thoughts, mad ideas, no patience…the list goes on…
If you don’t identify the fluctuations in moods it could possibly get worse and become an episode that requires treatment.
If you think you may be experiencing any of the symptoms I have mentioned please seek help…there are many organisations out there that can offer so much…take the care and advice offered.
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